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Everyday Men Walk The Line

22 September 2019 @ 16:20

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine.
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds.
Because you’re mine, I walk the line.

—Johnny Cash

Over at The Other McCain, Stacy has published a post that concerns itself with Emotional Manipulation, in general, and the case of Feminist reaction to a Male Pick-Up Artist, specifically.

Do click here to read the whole thing — it’s another McCain Home Run.

I want to focus here on an aspect of Emotional Manipulation: that between Men and Women.

As Stacy remarks:

Now, I do not endorse deliberate emotional manipulation and, as a Christian, I must condemn fornication as a a sin. But the feminist reaction . . . They’re totally losing it.

As they always seem to do.

The Feminists, for many reasons that I’ve explored here and that Stacy is a master decipherer of, are not Happy or Satisfied if they don’t stay in a Perpetual State Of Outrage.  This is a modern form of Hysteria.

As Stacy writes:

…men and women are not “equal,” especially when it comes to sex. Feminists have promoted the false belief that women can (and should) engage in a casual hookups without suffering emotional damage in the process. But women are by nature predisposed to prefer long-term monogamous commitment, a preference that is rational, because it serves women’s best interests. In a society where female promiscuity is celebrated, however, men are understandably reluctant to make long-term commitments. This creates a permanent conflict in which male-female relationships are afflicted by suspicion and hostility, approaching the Hobbesian nightmare of “the war of all against all” (Bellum omnium contra omnes).

There is no secular solution to this problem, which has arisen as a consequence of the decline of religious morality….

Even The Rule Of Law, and before that The Common Law, used take into account the non-physical differences between Men and Women.  And this was a Good Thing.

As I stated above: I want to offer some thoughts on how to maintain a Healthy Male / Female Relationship.  As my bona fides on this matter let me tell you I have spent well-over four decades studying the Female Psyche.

Women and their Ways have Fascinated me for most of my life.  I’ve been in a relationship with my Wife for over twenty years and our Love has just grown Stronger — partially due to our ongoing battles with my Cancers.  We’ve had some rocky times since The Big C first got me in 2006, but that has been mostly my fault in momentarily forgetting what Mrs. B. is going through.¹

So I would urge you to heed the advice below Men — and the Women should heed it too to, as Johnny Cash put it: ‘Understand your Man’.

In the Comments section to Stacy’s post, Evi remarks:

There is a lot to be said by finding the right partner and making a life together — but let’s not kid ourselves that both men and women engage in plenty of manipulation even then. That is not necessarily a bad thing if both partners benefit from it.

Exactly, Evi.

For a Heterosexual Relationship to work, both sides must engage in mild forms of Emotional Manipulation.  This is Essential because, to get your point across to the other person, you have to understand to an extent where they’re ‘coming from’ and make your point in a way he or she will ‘get’. Otherwise, Confusion and Misunderstanding will result.

The burden of this will lopsidedly fall on the Man.

Now, Women are definitely more Emotional than Men.  This fact must inform the interaction between the two on the Man’s part.  Most Women, because they are Emotional, will only sometimes Reciprocate — it’s part of their Stubbornness, which is a feature of their make-up. So the Man has to be more understanding [please see what I have to say in the footnote below for more on this].

The final word, I’ll leave to my Old Friend In The Ether McGehee:

I came to the conclusion long, long ago that getting anything you want from anyone involves some form of emotional manipulation. Most of us learn it as infants and it’s done unconsciously throughout our lives. Others, such as someone on the autism spectrum [like the Pick-Up Artist in Stacy’s post claims he’s on], learn it later and do it deliberately — but it’s part of the reality of living as material creatures in a material world. This earth, not heaven.

A moral person avoids manipulating people in ways that harm them; we Christians ask God not to lead us into temptation, no more should we do it to our fellow man.

Dead Solid Perfect.

You’ve got a way to keep me by your side.
You give me cause for love that I can’t hide.
For you I know I’d even try to turn the tide.
Because you’re mine, I walk the line.

______________________________________________________

¹ If you are a man suffering from Cancer and you are in a Heterosexual Relationship, you must never, ever forget that your Gal is suffering more Psychologically than you are [unless you wimp-out and stop being a Man].  You know what’s happening to your body, she can only guess.

As in a story, when the violence and mayhem happen off-stage, one’s mind tends to Exaggerate the violence and mayhem in your own mind.  This is why Storytellers of all forms often resort to this tactic.

Women have it much Worse in this situation and you must tread carefully.  A form of Stoicism is demanded of a Man here.  You must always realize that — especially in a long twilight struggle against a horrid illness — that your Woman, even though it doesn’t appear so, is always ready ‘to blow’.  Those times when I have forgotten this have led to bad scenes.  You, the Man, must be ready to Apologize, even though the Main Fault does not lie with you.

To a somewhat lesser extent, this applies in non-illness situations, as well.  You’re dealing with an always potentially Volatile Situation when you choose to be in a Normal [ie: Heterosexual] Relationship.  Women are often ruled by their Emotions.  Men are usually not,  This Yin and Yang is good for bringing-up Children and, when you haven’t been blessed by having any, influencing the Young in your circle.

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