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Fifty Shades Of Hillary

24 May 2015 @ 00:54

or: ‘Erotic’ Writings For Leftists

WARNING: The following excerpts may make you ill.  It not is not recommended that women and nervous persons read on…


From The London Daily Mail, Wills ‘Danger! Danger!’ Robinson reporting, we [ewww] learn [tip of the fedora to Evi — I think][running commentary by your Humble Dispatcher]:

The batch of emails released by the State Department revealed a bizarre confrontation between Hillary Clinton and a journalist who asked her: ‘Can I ride your lap to the White House?’ [BOB: Ah-oh…Warning: this could end-up being Chick Pron!]

Exchanges between the then-Secretary of State’s include the transcript of her interview with the Wall Street Journal’s senior writer Monica Langley in October 2012, which one of her advisers described as ‘unacceptable in any culture’. [BOB: Fruit from the forbidden tree, eh?]

The email from State Department Communications Director Caroline Alder, released as part of a Freedom of Information Act request, sets the scene with Clinton asking Langley to take a seat. [BOB: Were the lights low? Were the Indigo Girls playing softly in the background?]

She then motioned to a chair ‘situated an appropriate distance from her preferred spot on the couch’, but Langley grabbed it and dragged it within inches of the Secretary.  [BOB: ‘Dear Communist Penthouse: You’re not going to believe this, comrade, but…’.]

Langley, ‘leaning in even further’ begins the interview. [BOB: Hot, menopausal breath alert!]

She asks: ‘Oh Hillary…what do you eat? drink? dream about when you sleep?’ [BOB: Definitely Chick-Pron.]

Then midway through Langley decides to grab Clinton’s knee, causing the politician to laugh awkwardly.  [BOB: When he read this, Chis Matthews got a tingle up one of his legs again and I’m sure it wasn’t one of his first two, IYKWIMAITYD, nudge, nudge — say no more.]

The journalist looks at her support staff and says: ‘They think I’m so funny. HILL, can I ride on your lap to the White House? [BOB: It’s only fair; after all, Bill will be once again riding in The White House.]

At the end of the email, sent to Deputy Secretary of State Tom Nides and State Department adviser Philippe Reines, Adler says: ‘…this went for about 51 minutes And I agree with Philippe- whatever she [Langley] does, it works. It was a really great interview.’ [BOB: Obviously, both Monica II and Hillary give good interview.]

Reines started off the exchange, saying: ‘Tom, she moved that yellow chair as close as it went. Knee to knee. Amazed she didn’t try knee in between knee. [BOB: You wish, beta cabana boy.]

‘And if that wasn’t enough, she leaned forward. More like a pivot, as far as her torso could fold forward to minimize the space between their heads. [BOB: Writhing cellulite — oh my!]

‘Was like the dental hygienist rolling around the floor to get the best access to your mouth [BOB: !] depending on what tooth she was trying to get access to I’ve never seen a Westerner invade her space like that And even the non Westerners I’ve seen do it based on cultural differences have been only briefly to greet, This went on like that for 51 minutes – unacceptable in any culture. I don’t even think you see that behavior among any type of mammal. [BOB: The two were like slugs passionately rolling around in a pile of hot offal.]

‘The touching the leg and repeatedly calling her ‘Hillary’ was just gravy. [BOB: The promise of more fun to come, eh?]

‘But it was wonderful. One of the best interviews I’ve ever witnessed. Wish it were on live tv.’ [BOB: On Adult Pay-Per-View, perhaps?]

‘Scuse me while I go take nice, long acid bath and have all my memories wiped clean.

  1. 24 May 2015 @ 08:03 08:03

    Well, at least you did include a trigger warning, although, somehow I feel macro-agressed by the contents of this post.

  2. 24 May 2015 @ 08:05 08:05

    Reblogged this on That Mr. G Guy's Blog and commented:
    If you want to feel macro-agressed, read this article. But be warned brain bleach will be needed after you finish it.

  3. 25 May 2015 @ 14:31 14:31

    Feel like I need about a gallon of this…


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