A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Border
[Rousing and humorous music starts]
[The whole cast enters and sings]
Something peculiar
Something for everyone
Amnesty tonight
Something appealing
Something appalling
Something for everyone
Amnesty tonight
Act like a king
Not with a crown
Bring on the Latins
Bring on the browns
Old situations
New complications
Bad Constitution – set it aside
Tragedy tomorrow…
Amnesty tonight
Something convulsive
Something repulsive
Something for Illegals
Amnesty tonight
Something assholic
Something pathetic
Something for Democrats
Amnesty tonight
Acting like gods
Sealing our fate
Weighty affairs
Will just have to wait
Nothing that’s legal
Nothing that’s normal
Teleprompter to recite
Open up the border…
Amnestyyyyyyyy tonight
Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sodomheine & Kal Penn
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And with apologies to Zero Mostel, Phil Silvers, Buster Keaton, Jack Gilford and rest of the cast for forever associating A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum with the jef in the White House, I hope.