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Listen Up Young Ladies

19 August 2014 @ 07:42

Dr. Robert Stacy McCain, OBGYN, and me, Dr. Robert Oswald Belvedere, OBGYN [lunch time and weekends only], two Gentlemen professionals of much experience and distinguished aging, have some advice for you: the smart guys — the types you always say you want — are onto you.

I’ll let my colleague, who is Director of Research at The McCain-Collins Institute For Advanced Vaginology and author of Know Your Vajayjay: An Expert Guide to What’s Up Down There, begin:

Smart young fellows figure out that listening to what women say is less important than watching what women do. Women are constantly saying they want sensitive Ashley Wilkes types, even while they’re actually going crazy for the Rhett Butler types. But women are hopelessly fickle and self-contradictory, anyway.

Women are one minute praising the “strong, silent type” of guy as an ideal, and the next minute complaining that their guy doesn’t talk enough about his feelings. If a man organizes his life around trying to do everything a woman says she wants, he’ll end up having a nervous breakdown from the impossibility of the task.

This is not to say that men should be rude and domineering. It is to say that being a spineless doormat isn’t sexy. And if a feminist says she hates “prescribed gender stereotypes,” you can bet that her actions will contradict her words. When all is said and done, the basic human sex instinct is still as simple as, Me Tarzan, you Jane.”

Further, if you have a lovely personality and are a decent person, the smart guys will let you ramble on a bit about your ‘deep’ thoughts, but, don’t think for a minute, our silence indicates agreement. No, no. It’s just that we’re smart enough to realize that we shouldn’t judge you by the theories you espouse.

Speaking for both Dr. McCain and myself, let me say: ‘You’re welcome’ and we’ll send you a bill…just kidding — Tuesday is ‘Ladies Day’ at The McCain-Collins Institute and ladies can get our superior wisdom and drink for free.

Yours…

Dr. Robert Oswald Belvedere,
Director of Vaginology and Gam Services and Chief Bartender,
The Lord Fatheringay von Whoopsie Memorial Hospital and Tiki Bar

6 Comments
  1. theebl permalink
    19 August 2014 @ 10:17 10:17

    Ladies, they are throwing out pearls here!

  2. 19 August 2014 @ 10:40 10:40

    My rather liberal girlfriend (inescapable in the late 20’s types) really likes that I’m the tall, masculine type.

    When the transgressive is the norm, being bourgeois is transgressive.

    • thecampofthesaints permalink
      19 August 2014 @ 11:07 11:07

      You’re lucky, in a way, that that is true. It wasn’t when I was dating in the 1980’s. Luckily, I was, shall we say, eccentric in dress and mood so that I seemed transgressive.

      On Tue, Aug 19, 2014 at 10:40 AM, The Camp Of The Saints wrote:

      >

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