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What The TEA Party Platform Should Be

01 June 2014 @ 20:06

And it’s authored by a Canadian, no less.

Special thanks to Dustbury [whose blog is well-worth a regular visit, by the way] for introducing me to the writings of this talented fellow, David Warren [a descendent of Dr. Joseph Warren, perhaps?], who recently proposed this become the Platform of the Conservatives in Canada:

…this conspectus, in which I outline a new Manifesto for the Conservative Party, one that will break decisively with its dreary past:

“If elected, we promise to do nothing. There will be no new initiative in any area of government. Should some foreign power threaten us, we shall smoosh them promptly. Should some other unforeseen event positively demand our attention, we shall respond in like spirit to make it go away. Such contingencies aside, we shall avoid enterprise of any sort. Instead, we shall devote our entire attention, not to doing, but to undoing things. And not just little things but big things; and not just a few notoriously rotten apples in the eyes of vested interests known to be unloved, but the whole apple pie, the whole bakery. We shall make the Tea Party in the United States look like a bunch of socialist whiners. We shall make the UKIP in Britain look like Europhiles. Our ambition, as we cling to power, shall be to undo every gratuitous Act of Parliament, or other superannuated government measure, going back to Confederation, if not to Champlain. We shall repeal legislation, erase regulations, close government departments, demolish the buildings, salt the earth on which they stood, fire and retire civil servants by the refugee shipload. We shall sack them on the beaches, we shall sack them on the landing grounds, we shall sack them in the fields and in the streets, we shall start with the CBC. Our motto shall be that of the Machine Gun Corps of the British Army in the Great War. (‘Saul hath slain his thousands, but David his tens of thousands.’) We shall do this deliberately and persistently and remorselessly with no more attention to public opinion than will be necessary to lure our opponents into traps.”

Surely this would be better — more refreshing, more inspiring, more galvanizing — than what might be offered by any other old hack or party bagman of a speaker. And yet it was dismissed out of hand. I feel hurt by this rejection; I am sulking as I write.

Indeed.  I’ll pay for the salt.

Spoken like a True Conservative — that’s the spirit!

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Jess permalink
    01 June 2014 @ 20:45 20:45

    Good real estate is a commodity….we’ll just throw them into the desert and give it a new name, like Dumbass wasteland.

    We’ll need signs to mark the area, with crossbones and tell the grandchildren horror stories about those that were once people, but turned into the most horrible of monsters called “bureaucrats”.

  2. 02 June 2014 @ 08:13 08:13

    “…party bagman of a speaker…” Sounds like McConnell or Boehner to me.

  3. 02 June 2014 @ 11:05 11:05

    Man, we all wish around here. Too bad the entitlement class has far too much power.

  4. jtepmr permalink
    02 June 2014 @ 22:38 22:38

    Itwould appear I have found my way to The Village at last . Since you are springing for the salt , I will bring the rope .

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