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#NOAFW – If Bob Were Emperor Of America

05 May 2014 @ 20:33

Yes!  It’s that time of year again…

STACY MCCAIN HAS DECLARED THIS WEEK*

National Offend A Feminist Week 2014

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While it is true that, for we conservatives, our mere existence offends Feminists, it is during this week that we are commanded by Nature and Nature’s God [and some guy named Lenny] to go above and beyond the call of duty.  In fact, we participate in this week…

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…For Duty And Humanity!

Time is short [like a Feminist’s temper], so let the fun begin…

IF I WERE EMPEROR OF AMERICA
by Robert Oswald Belvedere

All Feminists would be required to cover their crabby, male-hating faces!

They would be divided-up into three categories:

1. Those Feminists who have great bodies and cute faces [aka: Dupes-First Grade] would wear masks that are easily removed if they agree to STFU about Feminism:

Offend-EmperorBobsAmerica-RequiredFemMask-003x

2. Your regular, every day Feminists [aka: Dupes-Second Grade] would be able to leave their hair and decolletage exposed, if approved by the Royal Anti-Fugly Council:

Offend-EmperorBobsAmerica-RequiredFemMask-002x

3. Hard-core, PIV-hating RadFems would have to spare us all having to gaze upon them and would NEVER be permitted to remove their masks:

Offend-EmperorBobsAmerica-RequiredFemMask-001x

This I would so decree – so let it be written; so let it be done.

As for the rest of the wommins [ie: the non-Feminists], a variety of Kitchen attire would be required, although each of their men could declare clothing-optional days…

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So Saieth I…
Robertus Rex I

3 Comments leave one →
  1. 05 May 2014 @ 20:54 20:54

    The problem with some of those outfits would be grease splatter when cooking on the fun parts.

    The solution is an apron, you know.

  2. 06 May 2014 @ 08:35 08:35

    I for one welcome my new scantily clad nonfeminist cooking women overlords. Boy…do I ever welcome them.

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