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Translation Of The Official GOP Response To The #SOTU Address

30 January 2014 @ 20:49

It was delivered by Representative Cathy McMorris Rodgers and is translated here by yours truly.*

Some highlights:

Tonight we honor America, a nation that has witnessed the greatest rise of freedom and opportunity our world has ever seen, a nation where we are not defined by our limits but by our potential, and a nation where a girl who worked at the McDonald’s drive-through to help pay for college can be with you from the United States Capitol.

But the most important moments right now aren’t happening here. They’re [pablum, tired old sayings, blah, blah, blah, snore, pablum] no dream too big. That’s the genius of America

And…

So tonight I’d like to share a more hopeful Republican vision, one that [cliche, cliche, blah, blather, blah, snore, blah] the promise of a better future for every American

And…

I grew up working on my family’s orchard and fruit stand in Kettle Falls [who cares, yada, yada, yada, pablum, pablum, puke, turgid]. They taught me to work hard, help others, and always, always dream for more.

And…

The President talks a lot about income inequality, but the real gap we face today is one of [non-clever bromide phrase, piffle, baloney, humbug].  And with this Administration’s policies [blah, blah, blah, snore, snore, more bromides, tommyrot] one manufacturing job, nursing degree and small business at a time.

And…

Not long ago I got a letter from Bette in Spokane [insipid story, blah, blather, blather, bosh, maunder, bollocks].

So we hope the President will join us in a year of real action by empowering people [drivel, prattle, blah, pablum puke, twaddle, twaddle,waffle,  poo] That is what we stand for. It’s for an America that is every bit as compassionate as it is exceptional.

And…

If we’re successful, years from now our children will say that we rebuilt the American dream. We built [blather, bilge, inanity, inanity, hokum, poo-poo] for the true state of the union lies in your heart and in your home.

Wow…Mzzz. McMorris Rogers is definitely a contender for the 2016 GOP Nomination [wretch, wretch, stroke, die].

If Julius Obamacus Nero Caesar is fiddling while America burns then the GOP is the rhythm section.

______________________________________
*My credentials: I used to be a Pig-Latin translator at
the U.N. until that incident with the Japanese Geisha
Delegation and the vat of Cool Whip in 1991.

4 Comments
  1. 30 January 2014 @ 23:05 23:05

    Heh. GOP should’ve trotted Meghan McCain out there. Couldn’t get any less vague and sophistic.

    A ‘community organizer’, Cathy’s not.

    • 30 January 2014 @ 23:40 23:40

      It was awful and just another example of the moral corruption of the GOP.

  2. M. Thompson permalink
    31 January 2014 @ 00:29 00:29

    Increasingly, “A pox on ALL their houses” is the sanest approach to DC politicians.

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