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#NOAFW – Bob’s Greatest Hit: Should You Spank Your Wife?

10 May 2013 @ 07:35


I’ve taken part in National Offend A Feminist Week since the great Stacy McCain created it in 2009.  During each annual event, I’ve posted many bits of solid and enduring wisdom on how a woman should behave for her husband, how a husband should treat a woman who knows her place and those who refuse to follow Nature, and why every single, solitary thing about the Women’s Liberation Movement is wrong and sucks rotten eggs.

The most popular non-Rule 5 specific post I’ve published in the last five years, with over 20,000 page views and counting, has been my brilliant treatise on Wife Spanking.  I have to modestly admit that it is quite the tour de force of Reason, logic, prudence, and wisdom.  The information presented in it is timeless and that is why I’m republishing it here, now [that and I also have to help Mrs. B. with cleaning chores].

So, without further adieu [or adon’t], herewith, a brief primer on…


Now I bet that some of you out there think, based on my past NOAFW postings, you know my feelings well enough to say: ‘Oh that’s easy: Bob will say yes; after all, he is the Bobby Riggs of The Blogosphere’.  Well, your wrong panty hose breath.  My position is, shall we say, ‘nuanced’.  Herewith is a brief primer on my way of thinking on this matter, complete with a lot of pictures for you gals so you can understand and for you former Bolshe males who still suffer from the permanent damage done to your brain matter…

Wife spanking is not something new in Western Civilization.  For many centuries, it was the right of the husbands to perform the task as a way of keeping wives in line, especially those suffering from Hysteria [a common occurrence amongst women, even today]:

In fact, it is still practiced in other cultures to this day, but we don’t care about them here because they are all inferior to The West [multiculturalism was invented by women and their pansy Beta men].

Spanking became verboten in our culture when Feminism was invented in the 20th Century by ugly women who couldn’t get dates [see: Limbaugh, Rush].

These Feminists were small in number, but they kept hammering their message home to normal women relentlessly and this tactic was very effective.  An analogy: you know how your wife or girlfriend can tell you everything that happened to her during the day for an hour and then the phones rings and it’s one of her friends and she spends the next hour telling her EXACTLY what she just told you and then she listens to her friend do the same and then she goes to the bathroom and then calls your mother and spends the next hour or so telling her the same exact things again — that’s exactly what the Feminists did.  At the same time they nagged the living hell out of the men who had influence in all walks of society and the men, in the hope that it would make the gals STFU, eventually gave in and passed laws, regulations, and work rules ‘protecting’ women, not realizing they had ceded power to the Fugly Shrew Orcs of Mordor.  The West, thus, began it’s decline, helped along by Disco and self-help gurus.  One of things that was now forbidden was husbands spanking their wives.

The Feminists encouraged women to act like men and cat around.  Roving bands of feral and braless, but contracepted, females began to prey on innocent men, who wanted nothing more than some lovin’ to ease their worried minds and the occasional bit of strange after a hard day running the world:

It is a long and sad tale that is too long and sad to continue on with here, but the result was that a systematic feminization of the American Male had begun and the old traditions and customs that had made The West the greatest civilization in the world were banned.  The result was the mess we are in today with terrorism, the financial crisis, OWN, and men saying foolish things like ‘We’re pregnant!’.

I tell you all this, not to make the case for spanking, but, yet, not to make the case against it either.  Rather, I want to see that old balance between male and female restored.  The ying must lay down with the yang [and she’d better shave her legs].  I want to see women acting like women and men acting like men again, each assuming their proper roles as Nature and Nature’s God intended.

Men have a God-given right to spank their wives, but, ladies, if you follow a few simple rules you can avoid forcing your man to be tempted, to have to consider, spanking you.  And men: if the ladies abide by the rules, you must not spank them [unless, of course, the TWO of YOU are into that funky stuff].

Here are the guidelines to follow…

-LADIES: Approach housework with the right attitude

Bad attitude…

Good attitude…

-A good attitude means nothing, if you don’t dress properly…

-MEN: If your wives do cross the line and forget the rules, use available technologies to correct the problem.  Here is a great example of what to do if the wife nags too much, or gets on your case for not remodelling the whole damn house in three weekends:

-MEN: But if your wife does everything she should, it is your responsibility to reward her appropriately:

Save her from this…………………………….Get her that new oven she wants…

Buy her things so she can be more efficient…

-LADIES: If you man holds up his part of the bargain, you, too, must reward him, as well:

-LADIES & MEN: Following the above will assure your house is a Happy Home…

and that the future will be spank-free, with couples living in harmony:

-MEN: If all else fails, if your wife refuses to hold up her end [!] of the bargain and your only recourse is to spank her, then, to avoid hurting her in any way because you have such manly hands, try this innovative way to spank her:

Invite your cute next door neighbor to do it for you…

You won’t risk hurting your woman with your big manly hands and, well, who knows, IYKWIMAITYD

  1. Ben Doin It permalink
    10 May 2013 @ 15:20 15:20

    Although wife spanking is quite effective, it is often misunderstood. Believe it or not, Jim Grant and John Wayne got it right in McLintock!. First, as the scene between Dev (Patrick Wayne) Becky (Stefanie Powers) suggests, the best time to begin is early in the relationship. Second, as the prelude to both spankings intimate, the woman involved has to want to relationship despite her protests.

    The biggest mistake men make is thinking of spanking as a panacea. It’s not. While it makes for good theater, the worst time to spank a woman is when she’s already on her way out the door. While I wouldn’t want to read too much into the McLintock! script, if Katherine (Maureen O’Hara) had been moving OUT instead of moving back IN to GW’s (John Wayne’s) house, the spanking at the end of the movie would have simply driven her further away. Nor would Cuthbert H. Humphrey (Robert Lowery) spanking Katherine made her love him.
    The second biggest mistake men make is thinking that spanking will make a woman fall in love. It won’t. For spanking to work, the woman already has to be in love with the man even if she won’t admit it to herself. The two elements – love and spanking – have to be in alignment.

    The third biggest mistake men make is thinking that spanking settles matters of male authority. It doesn’t. Instead, spanking is more like a marriage proposal. It can also renew marriage vows. In a woman’s mind, it is a signal of commitment that women expect men to honor. That’s really what’s going on between the lines at the very end of the McLintock! movie.

    Also, getting spanked usually tells a woman more about the man doing the spanking than most men realize! Getting spanked is also one way for an unmarried women judge a man’s suitability for mating.

    For spanking a woman to be effective, it has to have a lot in common with Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It can’t be too hard and it can’t be too soft. While women expect to get spanked on their bare bottoms and for those spankings to really hurt if they are to be effective, women tend to reject both wimps and tyrants. This decision-making process seldom occurs during or immediately after a spanking. Instead, it comes with reflection. It is how women separate discipline from abuse.

    Despite all of the propaganda to the contrary, as Louise Warren’s (Yvonne De Carlo’s) telling GW where to find Katherine demonstrates, women are not nearly as adverse to a well-deserved spanking as the naysayers would have men believe. At the same time, because getting spanked is intensely personal for a woman, it is best administered in private. That’s the part where the movie got it wrong. In real life, GW would have been better served to, as privately as possible, spank Katherine in the hotel room.

    Along the same lines, unless there is good reason for doing so, men should not violate the implicit privacy agreement. For a woman to admit that she got spanked is one thing. For a man to brag about having taught his wife a lesson is quite another.

  2. Ben Doin IT permalink
    15 May 2013 @ 13:37 13:37

    According to my browser, there are supposed to be three comments. However, I can find only mine – which I discovered to my horror, has at least one typo.

    I really wish there had been more comments because this topic needs to be more thoroughly discussed. Despite feminist propaganda and male timidity, there are times when women do need to be spanked. Virtually all women know it and a few will even admit it.

    The real secret to spanking a woman is to do it when she knows she needs it. This is also the most likely time when she will either not object to having her pants pulled down. If the woman is either burdened by guilt, she might even go so far as to save the man the trouble.

    When it comes to spanking women, it is also worth pointing out that Friedrich Nietzsche was onto something when he advised (in loose translation): “If you go to see the woman, do not forget the whip.”

    In truth, whether they admit it or not, most women also know that Nietzsche was right. That’s why, as Nietzsche alluded to in the context of his statement, women will usually try to talk a man out of using an implement if they can’t talk him out of spanking altogether.

    The reason that women need to be either paddled or strapped comes down to a contest of wills. By nature, women will try to endure a spanking without having to make any significant changes in behavior or attitude. The introduction of an implement is a game changer in the woman’s mind. It means that the man is really serious. Thus, the need to talk him out of using it if at all possible.

    Anecdotal evidence suggests that women find a man’s belt carries the most authority. Various women have admitted to crying, looking at blistered bottoms in the mirror afterwards, and being totally submissive to their husbands and boyfriends. Getting spanked breeds respect.

    On the other hand, the most dreaded implement is an old-fashioned switch! The latter has been described by women as the rattlesnake of female disciplining. Just the sight of one of those things in a man’s hand can have a profound effect on a woman’s mind. She instinctively knows there is no way she’s going to win. Then, that’s the point.

    Spanking is less about reddening a woman’s buttocks than it is about changing her mind. With that in mind, the more a man can front load the disciplinary session, the fewer problems he’s likely to encounter.

    One of the more profound misconceptions among 21st century parents, husbands, and boyfriends is that vaginal lubrication signals sexual arousal. It doesn’t. Instead, much like tears, it is sign of submission.

    Schools of thought are divided over what should be done after a spanking. More authoritarian husbands trying to separate spanking from sex make their wives stand in the corner or otherwise treat marital spanking more like father-daughter disciplining. Others are more inclined to console their wives afterwards and let nature take its course. One estimate suggests that at least two thirds to three quarters of couples use sex as a way of making up after spanking.

    History will most probably record the late 20th and early 21st century as being a time of abnormal male-female relationships. Although it may seem totally implausible in the current politically correct political environment, future generations may very will look back on this period and wonder what all the fuss was about.

  3. Anonymous permalink
    16 September 2015 @ 02:20 02:20

    I a firm believer in life spanking Young lady is supposed to do as she is told and not as she pleases!!!

  4. Daniel permalink
    02 October 2015 @ 07:14 07:14

    You are promoting domestic violence. Before you go there I’m a man and a christian man at that. The only difference between what you are promoting and domestic violence is she said you can. Christ wasn’t violent and wouldn’t approve of this.

  5. Anonymous permalink
    07 December 2015 @ 18:40 18:40

    If you are a man readi is, especially a Christian man, please disregard this page and keep looking. Please. I am a Christian woman and I grew up jan. Household where domestic discipline was used. The damage and pain it brought to my entire family cannot be described with words. Please, love your wives, treat them as Christ would.


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