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Adventures! In! Spamland!

26 December 2012 @ 09:31

Spamland-Spamguy-160Not only do we read each and every comment you all leave here at TCOTS, but we enjoy reading the spam messages we get before I send them into the black hole of the Trash Bin [aka: Erika Niedowski’s Who-Who].  Most are just the same old, same old.  But, occasionally, one proves to be somewhat interesting and unintentionally humorous.  Also, they can provide a situation well-disposed to our showcasing of our marvellous wits.

All of the gang here at the TCOTS Redoubt have taken on the duty of responding to the many interesting spam messages we receive.

1) From Selena:

You may risk accidentally pulling it out, which will cause it to bleed.

Hagbard Celine: I’m willing to take that chance, my dear…call me.

Bob: Sacrifices have to be made.

2) From Herpes:

Amazing post, definitely regret not going to the USO style dinner. Keep up the good work!…

This consistently amazes me how site owners for example yourself can find enough time plus the commitment to carry on creating fantastic posts. Your site is terrific and one of my need to read weblogs. I just had to thank you….

Bob: Well, if you spent less time infecting people, you’d find you have plenty of time to blog.  [phone rings]…Hello…yes…hey, how are ya?…Oh!…I’ll tell him…[hangs up]…I just talked to the USO and they wanted to thank you for not attending that dinner.

Hagbard: You should stick to Democratic Party events, Herp.

3) From Ralph Respect:

Hey mods. Feel free to remove this comment but please research this yourself. What happened to all the deep blue skies with crisp fluffy clouds that looked like lumps of candy floss over a rich, deep blue sky…… now all we get are white hazy blankets that block out the sun.. sounds crazy I know but next time it’s a nice day, notice how there is no more deep blue skies…. more like a pale white now….  plenty of evidence and leaked govt documents can be found here

Bob: Plenty of evidence you were part of those LSD experiments conducted by the CIA.

4) From Marissa:

Your style is unique compared to other people I have read stuff from. Thank you for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this site.

Hagbard: How ’bout I just come over to your place and bookmark it for you — show you how it’s done, IYKWIMAITYD.

Bob: For you, my dear, I always have the opportunity.

5) From Stephen Wozniak:

Hey! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers? My last blog…was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any methods to prevent hackers?

Bob: Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

6) From Team Awesome:

Excellent post. I used to be checking continuously this weblog and I’m inspired! Extremely helpful information particularly the closing section :)  I take care of such information a lot. I was looking for this certain info for a very lengthy time. Thank you and best of luck.

Bob: You are waaaaay too enthusiastic for me.  You take care, now — meds are your friends.

Hagbard: Bloody Mormons.

7) From Sex Toys:

What others do in the privacy of their own bedrooms doesn’t bother me.. . The bible never mentions dildos.

Hagbard: Moses had a pretty big staff he carried around; Sephora always seemed happy.

8) From Gay Pi:

I do not even know the way I finished up here, but I thought this post was once good. I do not realize who you are but certainly you are going to be a famous blogger for those who aren’t already. Cheers!

Bob: That’s me: Blogger to The Unfamous.

Hagbard: Christ, they’ve even taken over Mathematics!

9) From Ashton:


Hagbard: Yes, dammit!

Bob: Why so glum, Mr. Kutcher?  #Losing

10) From Johnie Cloutier:

Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam responses? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.

Bob: I usually find out where the spammers live and send Hagbard over to eliminate them with extreme prejudice.

Hagbard: Let me see if I’ve got this straight, Johnie…you live at 634 East Mango Road, apartment 394 in Cumquat, Iowa…am I correct?

11) From scarf elephant:

tory burch pumps brown

Bob: And what does the Senator from Massachusetts have to say about this???

12) From BeepBeepsNailMail:

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Bob: True.

13) From Gerry:

Dear Bobbelvedere,
Thanks for your thoughts, As you start exploring the market of strollers, you are sure to hear the name Bob Revolution Double Stroller. You may begin to wonder just who this BOB person is and why parents rave about his strollers. The key to this is to first figure out just who this BOB character is.

Bob: I wouldn’t dare venture a guess.

Hagbard: Hey, Clyde…there’s only one Bob and he just spoke to you.  Am I right, TCOTS readers?!?

  1. M. Thompson permalink
    26 December 2012 @ 11:11 11:11

    Return of a classic feature. Will we see this again?

    I hope so.

    • 01 January 2013 @ 02:15 02:15

      I hope so. I’ve been staying way too serious lately.

  2. 26 December 2012 @ 13:14 13:14

    “The key to this is to first figure out just who this BOB character is.”

    Bob seems to be puzzled his ownself.

  3. indyjonesouthere permalink
    26 December 2012 @ 13:39 13:39

    “plenty of evidence and leaked government documents can be found here.” Why should I go there when I can leak on government documents anywhere?

  4. 27 December 2012 @ 17:26 17:26

    Somehow, your blog gets higher-quality spam than mine does. Or at least, it’s funnier.

    • 01 January 2013 @ 02:17 02:17

      These thirteen were culled from nearly five hundred of them.

  5. 27 December 2012 @ 19:50 19:50

    Full points to Ashton for brevity, at least.

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