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Offend A Feminist Revisited: Should You Spank Your Wife?

12 May 2012 @ 14:12

I’ve taken part in National Offend A Feminist Week since the great Stacy McCain created it in 2009.  During each annual event, I’ve posted many bits of solid and enduring wisdom on how a woman should behave for her husband, how a husband should treat a woman who knows her place and those who refuse to follow Nature, and why every single, solitary thing about the Women’s Liberation Movement is wrong and sucks rotten eggs.

The most popular post I’ve published in the last four years, with over 12,000 page views and counting, has been my brilliant treatise on Wife Spanking.  I have to modestly admit that it is quite the tour de force of Reason, logic, prudence, and wisdom.  The information presented in it is timeless and that is why I’m republishing it here, now [that and I also have to help Mrs. B. with cleaning chores].

So, without further adieu [or adon’t], herewith, a brief primer on…

SHOULD WIVES BE SPANKED?

Now I bet that some of you out there think, based on my past NOAFW postings, you know my feelings well enough to say: ‘Oh that’s easy: Bob will say yes; after all, he is the Bobby Riggs of The Blogosphere’.  Well, your wrong panty hose breath.  My position is, shall we say, ‘nuanced’.  Herewith is a brief primer on my way of thinking on this matter, complete with a lot of pictures for you gals so you can understand and for you former Bolshe males who still suffer from the permanent damage done to your brain matter…

Wife spanking is not something new in Western Civilization.  For many centuries, it was the right of the husbands to perform the task as a way of keeping wives in line, especially those suffering from Hysteria [a common occurrence amongst women, even today]:

In fact, it is still practiced in other cultures to this day, but we don’t care about them here because they are all inferior to The West [multiculturalism was invented by women and their pansy Beta men].

Spanking became verboten in our culture when Feminism was invented in the 20th Century by ugly women who couldn’t get dates [see: Limbaugh, Rush].

These Feminists were small in number, but they kept hammering their message home to normal women relentlessly and this tactic was very effective.  An analogy: you know how your wife or girlfriend can tell you everything that happened to her during the day for an hour and then the phones rings and it’s one of her friends and she spends the next hour telling her EXACTLY what she just told you and then she listens to her friend do the same and then she goes to the bathroom and then calls your mother and spends the next hour or so telling her the same exact things again — that’s exactly what the Feminists did.  At the same time they nagged the living hell out of the men who had influence in all walks of society and the men, in the hope that it would make the gals STFU, eventually gave in and passed laws, regulations, and work rules ‘protecting’ women, not realizing they had ceded power to the Fugly Shrew Orcs of Mordor.  The West, thus, began it’s decline, helped along by Disco and self-help gurus.  One of things that was now forbidden was husbands spanking their wives.

The Feminists encouraged women to act like men and cat around.  Roving bands of feral and braless, but contracepted, females began to prey on innocent men, who wanted nothing more than some lovin’ to ease their worried minds and the occasional bit of strange after a hard day running the world:

It is a long and sad tale that is too long and sad to continue on with here, but the result was that a systematic feminization of the American Male had begun and the old traditions and customs that had made The West the greatest civilization in the world were banned.  The result was the mess we are in today with terrorism, the financial crisis, OWN, and men saying foolish things like ‘We’re pregnant!’.

I tell you all this, not to make the case for spanking, but, yet, not to make the case against it either.  Rather, I want to see that old balance between male and female restored.  The ying must lay down with the yang [and she’d better shave her legs].  I want to see women acting like women and men acting like men again, each assuming their proper roles as Nature and Nature’s God intended.

Men have a God-given right to spank their wives, but, ladies, if you follow a few simple rules you can avoid forcing your man to be tempted, to have to consider, spanking you.  And men: if the ladies abide by the rules, you must not spank them [unless, of course, the TWO of YOU are into that funky stuff].

Here are the guidelines to follow…

-LADIES: Approach housework with the right attitude

Bad attitude…

Good attitude…

-A good attitude means nothing, if you don’t dress properly…

-MEN: If your wives do cross the line and forget the rules, use available technologies to correct the problem.  Here is a great example of what to do if the wife nags too much, or gets on your case for not remodelling the whole damn house in three weekends:

-MEN: But if your wife does everything she should, it is your responsibility to reward her appropriately:

Save her from this…………………………….Get her that new oven she wants…

Buy her things so she can be more efficient…

-LADIES: If you man holds up his part of the bargain, you, too, must reward him, as well:

-LADIES & MEN: Following the above will assure your house is a Happy Home…

and that the future will be spank-free, with couples living in harmony:

-MEN: If all else fails, if your wife refuses to hold up her end [!] of the bargain and your only recourse is to spank her, then, to avoid hurting her in any way because you have such manly hands, try this innovative way to spank her:

Invite your cute next door neighbor to do it for you…

You won’t risk hurting your woman with your big manly hands and, well, who knows, IYKWIMAITYD.

9 Comments
  1. 12 May 2012 @ 16:21 16:21

    ROFL! This is so awesome!

  2. formwiz permalink
    12 May 2012 @ 16:52 16:52

    Anything you can do to help your wife is time well spent…

    if it keeps her beautiful and eager to please you.

  3. KissMyAss permalink
    09 December 2013 @ 09:30 09:30

    You said men have a God-given right to spank their wives? Are you retarded? Your dumb, go to school and stop blogging.

    • thecampofthesaints permalink
      09 December 2013 @ 10:58 10:58

      Why don’t you go and find a sense of humor, eh?

  4. Willow Ypsi permalink
    25 December 2013 @ 09:42 09:42

    I think your views are disgusting but I come here for the dirty pictures. I am not ugly but I am a feminist. By the way, the TERM ‘feminism’ may have been punned in the 20th century, but there have ALWAYS been women crusaders. Who do you think “invented” cooking? It sure wasn’t some ole supersticious man!

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