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Deep South Tuesday: Antic-i-pa-a-tion, It’s Making Me Wait

13 March 2012 @ 18:59

Stacy McCain will be live-blogging the results as they come in tonight…

 H E R E

…but while you await the returns from Alabama, Mississippi, and Hawaii feast on these hors d’oeuvres from Stacy and Smitty’s kitchen:

-Stacy on the possibility of a brokered GOP Convention:

“Brokered convention” is, like “beautiful nymphomaniac,” too much of a fantasy to be believed. Political journalists dream of brokered conventions the way teenage boys dream of smokin’ hot babes who just can’t get enough, but in all honesty, which one are we more likely to encounter in Tampa in August?

Yeah: Tampa’s going to be crawling with sex-crazed hotties, except they’ll all be hookers whose ability to simulate erotic enthusiasm is a requirement of their profession. Nevertheless, there will certainly be GOP convention delegates willing to pay for that kind of fantasy-fulfillment action, although it’s highly improbable the delegates will then be so gracious as to fulfill the “brokered convention” fantasies that excite the press corps.

Michael Steele is just teasing us with this “brokered convention” talk, and I’m resisting it the way Republican primary voters are resisting Mitt Romney: Sure, they would like to believe he’s really conservative, just like a GOP delegate might wish to believe that hooker in Tampa is really hot for him — the fulfillment of his adolescent fantasy — but the motives seem rather suspicious.

Stacy on the DOJ vs. the Texas Voter ID Law:

Is it cynical — or perhaps even racist — to suggest that many Hispanics in Texas don’t have ID because they are illegal immigrants and, as such, are not actually legal voters? Are Republicans just a bunch of xenophobic bigots for suspecting that Democrats oppose voter ID laws because they hope to use the votes of illegal aliens (or other methods of vote fraud) to elect Democrats?

Stacy on the Boehner, er boner pulled by the Santorum Campaign yesterday:

The point I’m trying to get at is, this isn’t just about me getting scooped. Yes, the Future U.S. Ambassador to Vanuatu does have feelings, and they can be hurt. But why would the Santorum campaign pimp-slap the entirety of conservative New Media like this, including major bloggers who have endorsed Santorum?

For that matter, why didn’t the Santorum campaign release this memo to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Mark Levin? I’m mystified.

GOP PROFESSIONAL OPERATIVES DELENDA EST!

-Does anybody remember Arlen Spector?  Smitty does…and not only in his nightmares.

Stacy has had enough of Newton Leroy Gingrich and let’s him have it with both barrels.  A highlight:

Monday, Carl Cameron of Fox News was the vehicle by which “sources close to the Gingrich campaign” floated a trial balloon, suggesting that former House Speaker Newt Gingrich might announce Texas Gov. Rick Perry as his running mate “prior to the Republican National Convention at the end of August.”

While I haven’t bothered to check with my own “sources close to the Gingrich campaign,” this suggestion had the distinct aroma of a substance one might find on the plains of Texas in the vicinity of a herd of longhorn cattle. Carl Cameron is too smart of a reporter to believe such a steaming pile of nonsense, and so my guess is that Carl was just sharing it with Fox News viewers in order to give them a glimpse of how truly desperate “sources close to the Gingrich campaign” have become. Republican voters go to the polls in Alabama and Mississippi today, and if Newt loses these two primaries, he’s got as much chance of winning the GOP nomination as he has of making Christina Hendricks his next wife.

Frankly, Newt doesn’t have much more of a chance even if he wins Alabama and Mississippi, but at least if he wins, his hope of going on to claim the Republican nomination would not be quite so comically implausible. Anyone can see that the Gingrich campaign is now at coffin corner and their increasingly desperate plight is the most likely reason for floating the Perry-for-VP trial balloon….

[For The Record: Miss Hendricks is all mine, Newton!  You try anything funny and I’ll deflate that obese ego of your’s with a 44.]

In a post from this morning, Stacy links a Quin Hillyer report from the campaign trail on a Romney event.  A highlight:

By this time, the nine minutes or so of downpour had slowed again to a more gentle rain. Everybody who was there outside had already gotten drenched. Romney so far had spoken for just three minutes.

“You know, I was in Mississippi yesterday and had some catfish for just the second time in my life,” he said, apropos of nothing. “It was just as good as the first time.” And now it was good to be next door in Alabama, where he really hoped people would support him. “You guys can all help by voting multiple times,” he said, then paused as if expecting some laughs that never came.

“Anyway, I don’t want to make you keep getting wet [by then, the rain was back to intermittent drizzle], so I’ll cut it off here. Thanks for coming.”

Can you say ‘awkward doofus’?

-Stacy schools those who misunderstand the value of polls:

Also, something else I’ve pointed out before, polls are a lagging indicator. It usually takes several days after a shift of opinion for it to start showing up in polls, which is why the Santorum surge in Iowa caught everybody — well, nearly everybody — by surprise. If Santorum’s win in Kansas gave him a late boost, we won’t know it until they count the votes tonight….

-Smitty takes Rick Santorum to task over teleprompters.

-Stacy doesn’t take Rick Santorum to task for saying Fox News is biased toward Willard in it’s straight news coverage.

-As for me, I have no idea what’s going to happen.  I would love to hear what you think.

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