Skip to content

The Algae Of The Edmund Fiskgerald

24 February 2012 @ 07:48

Whilst in Miami yesterday, The Lowerer Of The Seas, Lord Barack of Compost said the following:

We’re making new investments in the development of gasoline and diesel and jet fuel that’s actually made from a plant-like substance — algae. You’ve got a bunch of algae out here, right? (Laughter.) If we can figure out how to make energy out of that, we’ll be doing all right.

Believe it or not, we could replace up to 17 percent of the oil we import for transportation with this fuel that we can grow right here in the United States. And that means greater energy security. That means lower costs. It means more jobs. It means a stronger economy.

William Teach, Commander of The Pirate’s Cove, delivers a righteous Fisking of our Bio-Douche-In-Chief that is both organic in it’s reasoning and tasty as Hell.

In the course of serving up his delectable dish, the Admiral serves five courses of arguments that demolish our Fearless Leader’s free-range ramblings. A highlight [tip of the fedora to Mike G yeah, THAT Mr. G Guy]:

Political: he’s simply saying you people are idiots, and that he’s not to blame. This should play well as average citizens feel the pain of high energy prices affecting them directly and through rising consumer prices for food, clothing, everything. And, let’s consider, Democrats have been saying for 40 years that drilling for oil won’t help, because it’ll take 10 years to develop. Um, how long would it take to make biofuel out of algae? A decade? Multi-decades? Cause it really only exists as an experiment at this point.

Exactly. Right now the use of algae as a fuel exists in the minds of dreamers in rose-colored glasses who one night while smoking some weed decided it would be ‘cool’ to try and use ‘that green stuff’ as a fuel. It may well end up being a profitable fuel source, especially because algae is like crap: it’s everywhere. But, as the Admiral states, that’s many many years off happening and we have no idea what the consequences of mucking about with algae will be on Gaia.

Thanks William for starting off my morning with a delicious Fisking of a slimy green substance with jug ears.

5 Comments
  1. Adobe Walls permalink
    24 February 2012 @ 16:46 16:46

    Since all this green energy is three to three thousand times more expensive than fossil fuel he also announced that NASA’s new mandate would be to develop the chemical process by which lead is turned in to gold by 2020.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      25 February 2012 @ 00:24 00:24

      NASA’s too busy recruiting Muslims.

  2. 24 February 2012 @ 18:01 18:01

    Thanks for the link Bob. Algae is the beginning of the food chain in the oceans, lakes and rivers. I’m pretty damn sure we don’t want to start mucking about with it, eh?

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      25 February 2012 @ 00:17 00:17

      Methinks our Fearless Leader likes algae because it possesses the same texture as he does – slimy.

Trackbacks

  1. President Wants You To Use Algae To Lower Gas Prices | Wis U.P. North

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: