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The Pablum Puke Of The Day…

22 June 2011 @ 14:47

Rolling Stone [yup, it’s still in business] writer Matt Taibbi is seen by many on the Left and a few on the Right as the inheritor of the Gonzo mantel forged by the late, great, deranged Hunter S. Thompson. People like Don Imus rave about his work and think he’s the cat’s meow. Frankly, if he’s the figurative son of HST, then the degeneration of the gene pool in that family is proceeding at the same speed that Jackass guy’s Porsche was just before it crashed. Here’s a highlight from his latest:

Bachmann is a religious zealot whose brain is a raging electrical storm of divine visions and paranoid delusions. She believes that the Chinese are plotting to replace the dollar bill, that light bulbs are killing our dogs and cats, and that God personally chose her to become both an IRS attorney who would spend years hounding taxpayers and a raging anti-tax Tea Party crusader against big government. She kicked off her unofficial presidential campaign in New Hampshire, by mistakenly declaring it the birthplace of the American Revolution. “It’s your state that fired the shot that was heard around the world!” she gushed. “You are the state of Lexington and Concord, you started the battle for liberty right here in your backyard.”

…But don’t laugh. Don’t do it. And don’t look her in the eyes; don’t let her smile at you. Michele Bachmann, when she turns her head toward the cameras and brandishes her pearls and her ageless, unblemished neckline and her perfect suburban orthodontics in an attempt to reassure the unbeliever of her non-threateningness, is one of the scariest sights in the entire American cultural tableau. She’s trying to look like June Cleaver, but she actually looks like the T2 skeleton posing for a passport photo. You will want to laugh, but don’t, because the secret of Bachmann’s success is that every time you laugh at her, she gets stronger.

Pardon me, but I just don’t see the Gonzo. In fact, the above is a pretty damn lame attempt at it. As Bride Of Rove puts it [and puts it much better than I have]:

They are trying to recapture lightning in a teacup again harking back to the Nixon chronicles but they are not very good writers and their imagination is inundated with moth-eaten dustbunnys.

Dead solid perfect.

Here’s some more of Taibbi’s magic, mystical prose:

Bachmann was born Michele Amble in Waterloo, Iowa, to a pair of lifelong Democrats, but grew up in tiny Anoka, Minnesota. By her teen years, her parents had divorced; her mother remarried and brought step-siblings into the home, creating a Brady Bunchian group of nine kids. One of Bachmann’s step-siblings, Helen LaFave, would later come out as a lesbian, a fact that Michele, who became famous opposing gay marriage, never mentions on the campaign trail. For the most part, though, Bachmann’s upbringing seems like pure Americana, a typical Midwestern girl who was “in a couple of beauty pageants” and “not overtly political,” according to her stepbrother Michael LaFave.

Young Michele found Jesus at age 16, not long before she went away to Winona State University and met a doltish, like-minded believer named Marcus Bachmann….

One could spend many hours tearing apart this mass of malignant textural tumors, but let me spare you and myself the agony of that and focus on just this one:

…One of Bachmann’s step-siblings, Helen LaFave, would later come out as a lesbian, a fact that Michele, who became famous opposing gay marriage, never mentions on the campaign trail….

Ahhh, Matt, why should she mention that her half-step-sister plays for the other team? What relevance does it have to anything she’s saying on the campaign trail? Oh!…wait…I forgot: for the Left, the personal is political, so Mrs. Bachmann is obviously decieving us when she fails to confess that she’s such a horrible and hypocritical person for opposing ‘gay marriage’, despite having a gay half-step-sister who should have inspired her to change her beliefs because, as a Lesbian, she’s The Light And The Way to Illumination. It is Mrs. Bachmann’s obligation to have her principles unduly influenced by her family. Here you see the Leftist Mindset, naked in the full light of day before you: Michele Bachmann is an evil person, a dolt, a fool, a cretin because she does not allow her emotions to influence her Reason. This is further proof, if you needed it, that Leftist Thinking is based on feelings.

The fact is: Matt Taibbi is nothing but a Leftist hack who recycles the same old tired Progressive bromides in what I suppose his fellow Illuminated Ones consider hip and witty prose. He suffers especially from a condition that many on the Left do: he’s deluded himself into thinking he’s humorous, when actually what he is lame and cruel; he’s concluded that simply by a competent turn of phrase that he is being deep and profound, when actually he is merely being vapid and vile. The reality, of course, is that he comes off like a teenager doing a bad imitation of an adult. Underneath the surface there is nothing but blind mimicry, sophistry, raging ignorance, and Nihilism. One wonders how such people can bother to get out of bed each morning knowing that they will have to face another day in a world they absolutely hate. Sad thing is, they’re so ignorant that they have no clue what the Honorable Thing to do is in such a situation.

Big tip of the fedora to Pat Austin, Superintendent of And So It Goes In Shreveport, who comments:

…As for me, I don’t think I’ll be taking any more lessons from the left on civility in political discourse.

Good plan.

5 Comments
  1. Adobe Walls permalink
    22 June 2011 @ 18:01 18:01

    Half siblings share one parent biologically step siblings share are related by marriage only.

    It really is amazing what “newspeople” believe they are allowed to write or say in public and still maintain the fiction of integrity. The Republican candidates are running against the media just as much as against the democrats. It’s all just one big leftist organism. They must make this an issue well before the primaries start. The earlier voters are brought to recognize this truth the better. This is crucial to starting the restoration.

  2. 23 June 2011 @ 08:52 08:52

    You’d have to be a treacherous brain-damaged vulture to see anything of Thompson in that quote.

  3. 23 June 2011 @ 11:34 11:34

    Of course it’s Bachmann’s fault she has a lesbian stepsister! If you can’t pick your step-parents, who CAN you pick?

  4. bobbelvedere permalink*
    23 June 2011 @ 19:49 19:49

    Adobe: That’s what happens when you type in a fury – thanks for the correction. As for your comments: Spot-On.

    GN6: Yes, you have to be a Bolshe.

    Richard: If you’re a Bolshe, you pick your arse.

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