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Offend A Feminist: Wife Spanking, Etc…

08 May 2011 @ 23:23

[pictured above: budding Hillary Rodhams training]

Well, we’ve come to the end of the Third Annual National Offend A Feminist Week, but, despair not fellow manly men, because just by breathing you offend all of the Feminists out there — same goes for you stay-at-home moms, actually, for any conservative woman out there who loves her country and men in general.  So, really, this is a three-hundred and sixty-five day event and this week is only us getting a little louder for a few days and celebrating together.

Here at TCOTS, we’re going out of NOAFW with a bang [no gals, not the kind you want and need from us Real Men — that comes later if you’re good girls]…

A few days ago I asked the following question:


I received a number of responses, some requesting anonymity [wusses], and I want to thank you all, especially Richard McEnroe, Mike F, GregoryNo6, and NeoVictorian.

Now I bet that some of you out there think, based on my past NOAFW postings, you know my feelings well enough to say: ‘Oh that’s easy: Bob will say yes; after all, he is the Bobby Riggs of The Blogosphere’.  Well, you wrong, panty hose breath.  My position is, shall we say, ‘nuanced’.  Herewith is a brief primer on my way of thinking on this matter, complete with a lot of pictures for you gals so you can understand and for you former Bolshe males who still suffer from the permanent damage done to your brain matter…

Wife spanking is not something new in Western Civilization.  For many centuries, it was the right of the husbands to perform the task as a way of keeping wives in line, especially those suffering from hysteria [a common occurence amongst women, even today]:

In fact, it is still practiced in other cultures to this day, but we don’t care about them here because they are all inferior to The West [multiculturalism was invented by women and their pansy Beta men].

Spanking became verboten in our culture when Feminism was invented in the 20th Century by ugly women who couldn’t get dates [see: Limbaugh, Rush].

These Feminists were small in number, but they kept hammering their message home to normal women relentlessly and this tactic was very effective.  An analogy: you know how your wife or girlfriend can tell you everything that happened to her during the day for an hour and then the phones rings and it’s one of her friends and she spends the next hour telling her EXACTLY what she just told you and then she listens to her friend do the same and then she goes to the bathroom and then calls your mother and spends the next hour or so telling her the same exact things again — that’s exactly what the Feminists did.  At the same time they nagged the living hell out of the men who had influence in all walks of society and the men, in the hope that it would make the gals STFU, eventually gave in and passed laws, regulations, and work rules ‘protecting’ women, not realizing they had ceded power to the Fugly Shrew Orcs of Mordor.  The West, thus, began it’s decline, helped along by Disco and self-help gurus.  One of things that was now forbidden was husbands spanking their wives.

The Feminists encouraged women to act like men and cat around.  Roving bands of feral and braless, but contracepted, females began to prey on innocent men, who wanted nothing more than some lovin’ to ease their worried minds and the occasional bit of strange after a hard day running the world:

It is a long and sad tale that is too long and sad to continue on with here, but the result was that a systematic feminization of the American Male had begun and the old traditions and customs that had made The West the greatest civilization in the world were banned.  The result was the mess we are in today with terrorism, the financial crisis, OWN, and men saying foolish things like ‘We’re pregnant!’.

I tell you all this, not to make the case for spanking, but, yet, not to make the case against it either.  Rather, I want to see that old balance between male and female restored.  The ying must lay down with the yang [and she’d better shave her legs].  I want to see women acting like women and men acting like men again, each assuming their proper roles as Nature and Nature’s God intended.

Men have a God-given right to spank their wives, but, ladies, if you follow a few simple rules you can avoid forcing your man to be tempted, to have to consider, spanking you.  And men: if the ladies abide by the rules, you must not spank them [unless, of course, the TWO of YOU are into that funky stuff].

Here are the guidelines to follow…

-LADIES: Approach housework with the right attitude

Bad attitude…

Good attitude…

-A good attitude means nothing, if you don’t dress properly…

-MEN: If your wives do cross the line and forget the rules, use available technologies to correct the problem.  Here is a great example of what to so if the wife nags too much or gets on your case for not remodelling the whole damn house in three weekends:

-MEN: But if your wife does everything she should, it is your responsibility to reward her appropriately:

Save her from this…………………………….Get her that new oven she wants…

Buy her things so she can be more efficient…

-LADIES: If you man holds up his part of the bargain, you, too, must reward him, as well:

-LADIES & MEN: Following the above will assure your home is a Happy Home…

and that the future will be spank-free, with couples living in harmony:

-MEN: If all else fails, if your wife refuses to hold up her end [!] of the bargain and your only recourse is to spank her then, to avoid hurting her in any way because you have such manly hands, try this innovative way to spank her:

Invite your cute next door neighbor to do it for you…

You won’t risk hurting your woman with your big manly hands and, well, who knows, IYKWIMAITYD.

  1. 09 May 2011 @ 00:41 00:41

    I thought this was NOAFW not a S & M site. Risque!

  2. 09 May 2011 @ 01:43 01:43

    You are one bold dude, Mr. Belvedere.

    Hey, isn’t that Dita Von Teese?!

  3. 09 May 2011 @ 02:02 02:02

    Among Offend a Feminist Posts, this is an all out nuclear strike. Well done sir!

  4. 09 May 2011 @ 06:13 06:13

    Elisabeth Shue – one of my favourite kitchen acessories.
    There is a large number of pics at that site Bob, some suitable for TCOTS and some that seem just a tad deficient in years. Explore at your leisure.

  5. M. Thompson permalink
    09 May 2011 @ 09:14 09:14

    Women should be fully dressed, if only so you can have fun seeing unwrapping, IYKWIM

  6. 09 May 2011 @ 21:02 21:02

    Oh Belvedere. You’re just too bad.

  7. bobbelvedere permalink*
    10 May 2011 @ 18:49 18:49

    Thank you all. Hey, Red, that steak ain’t gonna cook itself and None, where’s my Martini?

  8. 10 May 2011 @ 21:23 21:23

  9. Icarus Poe permalink
    11 May 2011 @ 10:52 10:52

    Thank G_d there are still men around who know how to put women in their place. As a token of my appreciation, i would like to offer to spank each and every one of your wives, sisters, and daughters.
    Hit me back….

  10. bobbelvedere permalink*
    12 May 2011 @ 18:34 18:34

    None: Well done…now how about a cigar, hon?

  11. Alaina permalink
    24 August 2011 @ 20:30 20:30

    I’m sorry, but hysteria was a problem for women that the invention of the vibrator solved. Since pleasurable sexuality has always been posited towards male pleasure, women were being denied theirs. Women were becoming increasingly sexually frustrated and thus received pelvic massages from doctors. The massages became a lot of work for the male doctors, so they invented the vibrator, thus “curing” hysteria. Maybe this website would have some credibility had the creator of the website used correct grammar, and….oh yeah, had their facts sorted out.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      25 August 2011 @ 17:09 17:09

      You make some interesting points…now get me that cop o’coffee I’ve been waiting for – and make it quicky, honey.

      • Alaina permalink
        28 August 2011 @ 10:08 10:08

        Ohhh, you can’t even spell “cup” right baby.

  12. Rachel permalink
    17 January 2012 @ 16:40 16:40

    Bob, I must admit you’re 100% right. My husband has put me over his knee and spanked me more than once, but I admit I deserved it every time. Now, I’m not a traitor to my gender. I just believe in being honest. And besides every time he’s spanked me, we’ve ended up in the bedroom right afterward and umm, let’s just say the lovemaking was terrific.

  13. 18 March 2012 @ 08:06 08:06

    In my support of the “Third Annual National Offend A Feminist Week”, my favorite “Chick Flick” :

    Reform School Girls

    • 18 March 2012 @ 18:23 18:23

      A nice appetizer to wet our whistles while we await NOAFW – thanks.

  14. old married guy permalink
    03 July 2012 @ 04:13 04:13

    The whole anti-spanking movement was feminist inspired. Half a century ago, even kids sort of understood that girls didn’t get too old for a spanking if they needed it. Sometimes even mommies got it from daddies when they misbehaved. That reality was an anathema to the feminist dogma that women were equal to men in every regard. Yet, back in the days when spanking was considered to be a family matter instead of an open invitation for police intervention, women were less likely to file for divorce. The resulting stability is woefully lacking in society these days. Today’s instability has served to fuel a disastrous antagonism between men and women that cannot continue without egregious consequences.

    • thecampofthesaints permalink
      03 July 2012 @ 07:52 07:52

      I cannot disagree with a word you’ve written – spot-on.

      • old married guy permalink
        04 July 2012 @ 20:59 20:59

        Life is a wiling teacher. The only question is whether the students learn the lessons.

  15. TFYFWYA permalink
    05 December 2012 @ 01:07 01:07

    the rage you feel at your inability to control women as objects is palpable.

  16. 16 January 2013 @ 05:26 05:26

    This is too funny. But sad too because it shows what results when public education fails, and what bitterness does to men who have failed and who have been rejected or hurt by women.

    I would get you a martini but I’m too bust making $200k as a successful and happy lawyer. Lol

    • old married guy permalink
      16 January 2013 @ 12:05 12:05

      Feminists can’t stand articulate males because they pose an insurmountable threat to self-anointed sense of superiority and their profound insecurities.

      Public education was designed to fail. That’s why the affluent sent their children to private schools able to prepare their offspring for top tier universities.

      Very few lawyers make over $160,000 a year. Those that do don’t have time to post here.

  17. 26 September 2013 @ 03:03 03:03

    It’s remarkable to pay a quick visit this web site and reading the views of all mates on the
    topic of this post, while I am also zealous of getting knowledge.


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