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Dear Roxeanne: Cheating Husband Edition

25 February 2011 @ 12:19

One of the many benefits of having dated every SOB on the East Coast is that you develop a radar for it.  Now, Roxe is a betting kind of girl, and, although Black Jack is usually her game, she’s willing to make a wager here.  The latest Dear Abby column:

DEAR ABBY: I need help. When we started dating, my (now) husband told me he didn’t care about past relationships because “the past is the past and it’s over.” Now he has begun grilling me about every boyfriend I’ve ever had, demanding details about every aspect of the relationships, physical, emotional — whatever.

He makes snide remarks and asks if I would like him to track them down and if I’d like to sleep with them again. At first, I thought he was joking, but it has escalated to text messages and threats of divorce if I don’t tell him everything he wants to know. I have been sick to my stomach the last few days, and I think this fits the definition of emotional abuse. I don’t know whether to suggest counseling or just tell him to go.He was wonderful when we first got together, but now he says marrying me was just a ruse to get sex. What can I do? I miss the person he used to be. He has always seemed concerned that I would eventually cheat on him, although I have given him no reason to think so and have assured him repeatedly that I want only him. Why is this happening? — SICK TO MY STOMACH IN OHIO

DEAR SICK TO YOUR STOMACH: It’s because you didn’t really know the man you married. The way he presented himself was, in his words, “all a ruse” to convince you to marry him “to get sex.” He appears to have increasing anxiety about how he measures up to your past lovers.

Harassing you for details and threatening to contact them is, frankly, sick behavior. He needs counseling, and unless he seeks it immediately you should get out of there. If you stay, the emotional abuse could escalate to physical abuse. To ensure your safety, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800) 799-7233 and discuss this with a trained counselor.

Dear Sick to My Stomach: your husband is cheating on you with one of his ex-girlfriends. (Roxe is betting on this.  Any takers to the contrary?)  See, when Roxe was just a wee lass of eighteen, she dated a man like that – a man who constantly accused a woman who had never been kissed of hiding a past or cheating on him – Roxe, who had never met anyone before who didn’t trust her implicitly.  He’s a whack job who counseling would not help, because counseling doesn’t change narcissistic sociopath.  Papa de Luca’s threats didn’t change him, either, but got him to leave Roxe alone after she dumped his pathetic, screwing-his-ex-while-dating-her butt.

Oh, yes, that’s where we were with this story – the story of how Roxe learned the hard way that a man who stubbornly believes that a woman is hiding a “past” or is not being faithful now, with absolutely no evidence, is cheating on her, and probably with an ex.  Whoa – a man groundlessly accusing a woman of the very same behaviour he’s engaging in, in order to deflect attention?  You don’t say!

STMS in Ohio: go visit your parents for a week without him.  Hire a private investigator to follow him during that time.  Then using the findings to divorce him.

6 Comments
  1. 25 February 2011 @ 22:04 22:04

    “Dear Sick to My Stomach: your husband is cheating on you with one of his ex-girlfriends. “

    See what I mean Mike?

    Wow, dropped him dead. What was that Beattles tune?

    “I’m looking through you
    Where did you go?”

    One part still needs a bit more of the Roxe touch.

    “…but now he says marrying me was just a ruse to get sex.”

    What?!

  2. bobbelvedere permalink*
    25 February 2011 @ 23:49 23:49

    Whoa – a man groundlessly accusing a woman of the very same behaviour he’s engaging in, in order to deflect attention?

    Sounds like typical Leftist behavior to me.

    STMS in Ohio: go visit your parents for a week without him. Hire a private investigator to follow him during that time. Then using the findings to divorce him.

    And get a gun and learn how to use it.

  3. 26 February 2011 @ 00:03 00:03

    Wow, the quality of my Dear Roxeanne columns is slipping.

    Nicholas: I’ll get to the “I married you for sex” thing. Can’t believe I missed that bit of psychotic b.s.

    Bob: good point, as always. 🙂 Liberals recommend counseling; conservatives recommend reloading. 😀

  4. Rob De Witt permalink
    26 February 2011 @ 11:45 11:45

    Good stuff, Rox, and good for you for seeing through the bullshit. And yes, it’s typical Leftie projection strategy.

    It’s worth pointing out, btw, that this is decidedly not gender-limited. The exact behavior is rampant among women as well, and just as many men are fooled by it.

    FWIW, and guess how I learned that.

  5. 01 March 2011 @ 14:02 14:02

    Concerning Dear Roxeanne: Cheating Husband Edition The Camp Of The Saints, If you can exploit a woman’s need for sexual attachment to 1 strong man, you have increased your covert tactical advantage. It is that simple.

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