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Five Million Hits B.C.

09 November 2010 @ 19:30

Getting a lot of hits on your blog is not easy, as those of us who have been in the game for a while well know.

To get five million hits on your blog takes certain natural talents, a constant refining of skills, and a willingness to take chances.

What are the seemingly elusive qualities that one must possess to reach this pinnacle of achievement in a short time?

Herewith, a brief primer…

One should possess a happy talent for pithy composition.  It is imperative that you be endowed with a sense of humor that does not insult the reader and that is also mischievous, sometimes wicked, without being obscene.  One can be a Cynical Bastard about human beings in general, but never a misanthrope.  One must be blessed with a love of life in all of it’s aspects.  Tenaciousness in the pursuit of truth and justice is an essential requirement.  A fierce belief  that one must face reality, that A = A, is the spine of any such person upon which all of the other qualities listed above hang and are organized.

Some, without the qualities listed above, will still achieve the magic number of hits, but only because they are ultimately the sideshow freak that dazzles for a fleeting moment and is seen as pitiable over the long haul.

I have expended many words in this elementary excursion, but said elusive qualities can be summed up in three words:


Congratulations to Stacy McCain
and his Porch Manqué, Smitty
for getting their five millionth hit this morning!

It seems Stacy was so wrapped-up in talking to his sources [and in offending conservative feminists and the beta men who hire them] that he missed the moment the threshold had been crossed and it was left up to The Troglopundit [who, it seems, has an awful lot of time on his hands] to have witnessed the magic moment first.

Over at WyBlog, Chris Wysocki has penned a congratulatory post, but, as you might expect from a guy from Jersey, he has to throw into the situation [pun intended] a little whining: his blog has only received 250,000 hits [hey pal, let me make you feel even more whiny: I passed the 348,000 hit-mark today].

At least Obi’s Sister and Steveegg didn’t get all cheesy or whiny.

This calls for some Special Rule 5….

  1. 09 November 2010 @ 21:23 21:23

    Ah. Now I get it. You have two secrets to getting a third of a million hits… how to sayright and left. [cough]

    Many more lad! Hits, that is. Spelled with an “H”.

    8 ]

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      10 November 2010 @ 09:58 09:58

      Ran, Ran, The Dirty Old Man.

  2. 10 November 2010 @ 13:41 13:41

    8 ]~


  1. The Other McCain + Five Million Hits = Congratulations!

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