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Euphemism Alert! [Updated Below]

12 October 2010 @ 09:39

VULGARITY WARNING

Henceforth, heretofore, hiddy-hiddy-hiddy-ho…on this twelveth day of October in the Year of Our Lord two thousand and ten, I, Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere do proclaim the following:

To Whom All These Presents Come, Greeting…

There’s been many a time when I have wanted to use the expressions ‘Holy Shit!’, ‘Cut the shit!’, or ‘You gotta be shitting me!’ to express my exact feeling on a matter, but I have been restrained by the fact that one of my goals is to keep The Camp Of The Saints And The Beloved City free of the vulgarities that are relentlessly being hurled at us by the monkeys of modernism every day and in order to maintain that level of decorum that is befitting a proud way station of the greatest civilization known to man, The West.

However, because of my principled stand, I have, at times, been ineffective in getting my emotions across to you, my dear readers.

Fortunately, this morning I had an inspiration as I sipped my cup o’Joe and chomped on my Nicorette: I came up with a perfect substitute word for the dreaded fecal phonic.

From now on when I have the urge to write ‘Holy Shit!’, I will instead write ‘Holy Sharia!’ — after all, they both mean the same, exact thing.

UPDATE at 1411…

DaTechguy understands.

12 Comments
  1. Fulminacio Escalante permalink
    12 October 2010 @ 10:42 10:42

    Now THAT is Good! …. and True!

  2. 12 October 2010 @ 10:48 10:48

    Well Farouk me bowlegged, you’ll never be quoted by the WaPo again…

  3. 12 October 2010 @ 13:43 13:43

    You got to be sharia-ing me…

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      12 October 2010 @ 14:15 14:15

      Jake: I sharia you not.

      Richard: Farouk ’em if they can’t take a joke.

      Fulminacio: No, sharia!

  4. 12 October 2010 @ 17:06 17:06

    But it’s another oxymoron.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      12 October 2010 @ 19:40 19:40

      Ran: I wish it were Oxycontin.

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