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Exclusive: Mr. Freeze Helping Murkowski?

30 August 2010 @ 10:35

DATELINE ALASKA: Sources close to Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere’s pants are reporting that a desperate Senator Lisa Murkowski has enlisted the help of the evil Mr. Freeze, notorious nemesis of Batman, to help her in her quest to survive as a U.S. Senator from Alaska.

A campaign worker for the embattled Republican, who wishes to remain anonymous as Hell and therefore hid behind a beaver mask in an igloo, told Mr. Belvedere’s pants that:

Things are getting pretty desperate up here.  That lawyer sent from the national GOP wasn’t very much help because he told the senior staff that Ms. Murkowski has a ‘snowball’s chance in Hell’ to win the nomination fair and square.  That’s not what they wanted to hear at all…oh, no, no, no.  So the Senator herself called her old friend Mr. Freeze [they had briefly dated many years ago and remained friends, as I understand it].

This source went on to say that Freeze [real name: Dr. Victor Fries], upon arriving at campaign headquarters, immediately froze one of the volunteers to show ‘he means business’.  The source [real name: Pervis Antler] also said that Freeze admitted that Anchorage political consultant Andrew Halcro, who hates primary victor Joe Miller and really, really, really hates Sarah Palin, is his illegitimate son and heir.

More on this story as more information filters in to Belvedere’s pants [see our previous report here].

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Stacy McCain has prepared and published, over at The American Spectator, a report that summarizes the whole situation actually going on in Alaska.  A highlight:

Miller’s supporters were therefore dismayed to learn over the weekend that Murkowski — who still has more than a million dollars in her campaign fund — had retained the services of Mike Roman, a key player for Republican Norm Coleman’s team in the nightmarish 2008 Minnesota recount that eventually produced five of the most dreaded words in the English language: United States Senator Al Franken.

Murkowski’s campaign is “bringing in the big shots,” Miller campaign spokesman Randy DeSoto said in a telephone interview late Sunday. Meanwhile, voters who cast absentee ballots were reporting that they had gotten calls asking how they’d voted — the names of absentee voters are a matter of public record in Alaska — and when Miller’s campaign suggested this was evidence of mischief by the senator’s team, Murkowski accused Miller of being “paranoid.”

If you would like to read a more detailed set of reports on the situation, please click here to see a posting by Stacy on the latest news and an aggregation of links to his previous reports.

If you like what you see, please hit his Tip Jar so he can afford to go to The Land Of The Midnight Sun and do some of that Class-A gonzo reporting you’ve come to expect from the man, the phenomenon, Robert Stacy McCain.

6 Comments
  1. Erich Madden permalink
    30 August 2010 @ 11:17 11:17

    Fortunately, Joe Miller is Batman.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      30 August 2010 @ 13:51 13:51

      Erich: Does that make Obama, The Egghead? Answer: Egg-xactly!

  2. 30 August 2010 @ 13:19 13:19

    Pervis Antler? Again? He’s everywhere!!!

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      30 August 2010 @ 13:52 13:52

      Steven: He’s one of the few non-gay GOP Operatives who roams from campaign to campaign giving out dumb advice.

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