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I Have A Dilemma

20 August 2010 @ 20:03

Our crazed, psycho cat, Abigail, has developed ‘hot spots’ that she currently licks all the time.

She has licked all the fur off on her belly, under one of her front shoulders, and is now working on the front of both front paws.

She has, I kid you not, been diagnosed with OCD.

‘Stop me before I lick again!’

We give her medicine to calm her down — that’s not the problem.

It works, but only partially and she still obsessively licks those areas.

We heard about an herbal spray that will soothe the licked areas and cause cats not to lick their ‘hot spots’ — much joy ensued in Belvedereville as it works!

Trouble is, the directions for the spray say to ‘apply liberally‘.

You see my dilemma, fellow members of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy: I never, ever do anything liberally.

What shall I do?  Your suggestions are most welcome.

14 Comments
  1. 20 August 2010 @ 20:11 20:11

    It’s okay. There are somethings you can do liberally.

    When I season ribs and pork butt, I do it liberally.

  2. 20 August 2010 @ 20:42 20:42

    The word “liberal” didn’t used to be a dirty word. My how things have changed. How about if you “generously” apply the salve to your cat’s hot spots?

    Only synonym I could come up with that didn’t smack of “liberalism”. 😉

    Good luck, Mike

  3. 20 August 2010 @ 23:21 23:21

    Spray it liberally, but from the right side. confuses the karma all to hell.

  4. 21 August 2010 @ 03:36 03:36

    Shave the cat. Then she’ll match all over.

  5. 21 August 2010 @ 07:54 07:54

    Words mean things. “Liberal” has been hijacked by those who are liberal only in…well, nevermind, that’s not the topic of this comment.

    Although the online dictionary gave mostly political examples for the word, when I moved to the synonyms, I found many that have NOTHING to do with politics, one of which – generously – has been mentioned.

    There’s also abundantly, acceptably, adequately, appropriately, bountifully, capaciously, completely, copiously, enough, extensively, fittingly, generously, greatly, lavishly, liberally , plenteously, plentifully, profusely, properly, richly, rightly, satisfactorily, substantially, suitably, thoroughly, well.

    Apply said “herbal” spray thoroughly and well, and you will be richly rewarded, and your cat will thank you lavishly!

    Or not. She IS a cat, after all.

  6. 21 August 2010 @ 08:16 08:16

    Check out Feliway. Supposed to work really well…

  7. bobbelvedere permalink*
    21 August 2010 @ 11:44 11:44

    Thanks to all of you…

    Dave: Even when I try to take your attitude, something deep in the primitive part of my brain forces my arms to resist.

    Mike: I will attempt to keep that word in my head, like a mantra.

    Richard: I’ve been actively re-routing the karma stream for years [Hell, I can even see the fnords!], but, in this case, see my comments to Dave above.

    Steven: My [at the time – she’s better now] dumbass niece and her husband did that to one of their cats in the summer about a decade ago and the poor thing froze to death on a cool night.

    Adrienne: If this PetRelief stuff doesn’t work, I will try Feliway – thank you.

    KC: You may have saved the day! I read your suggestion to Mrs. B. and she laughed and thought it a wonderful way to put it. And, no, I have had cats my entire life and have come to never expect gratitude [on those few occasions they show it, well, that’s gravy].

  8. Andrew B permalink
    21 August 2010 @ 11:58 11:58

    Take the libertarian approach: leave the container of spray available for the cat to use if she so desires. An alternate is to rebrand the instructions, and replace the word “liberally” for with “progressively”. Perhaps you can dress as Woodrow Wilson while you apply it for that extra “oomph”.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      21 August 2010 @ 16:12 16:12

      Andrew B: The Libertarian approach sounds about right. As for dressing like Wilson: who is going to help me shove the pole up my arse?

      Bunni: I like your way of thinking.

  9. 21 August 2010 @ 12:03 12:03

    Hi Bob, your kitty is adorable. I’m happy you found something to stop Abigail’s licking.
    You could think of applying liberally, as we will lick all the libs in November!
    Other than that, you got some really good suggestions.

  10. 22 August 2010 @ 00:34 00:34

    You might simply substitute the word excessively for liberally. Much like the sunburn balm I’m applying at the moment.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      22 August 2010 @ 17:23 17:23

      MNR: TMI, my friend, TMI.

  11. Roxeanne de Luca permalink
    23 August 2010 @ 01:34 01:34

    Apply herbal spray as if you’re applying anti-stupid to Team Obama.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      23 August 2010 @ 08:49 08:49

      Roxe: But we both know that would be ineffective.

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