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Don’t Ask Me No Questions…

12 April 2010 @ 14:38

…that are unconstitutional and maybe, just maybe, I’ll answer you.

So after months of being barraged on land, sea, and in The Ether by advertisements and twice in the mail, I have finally filled out my Federal Census Form.  Not that the folks at the Department of Commerce are going to be happy with the way I did — oh, no no.  I’m sure they will be rather unhappy with your humble Dispatcher.  You see, I refused to answer most of their questions.

Article 1, Section 2, Clause 3 of The Constitution states, in full [emphasis mine]:

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

The Constitution declares that the decennial census shall be for the purposes of apportioning congressional seats among the states and direct taxes ONLY.  Nowhere else in the document is the census mentioned again.  Therefore, it has two purposes only.  End of story.

I completed by Federal Census form accordingly.  Here are the questions I answered:

– How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010?

-Were there any additional people staying here April 1, 2010 that you did not include in Question 1?

-What is Person 1’s name?

-Does Person 1 sometimes live or stay somewhere else?

-Print name of Person 2.

-Does this person sometimes live or stay somewhere else?

My race, my ethnic origin, my sex, my date of birth, and the second person’s relationship to me have absolutely nothing to do with apportioning House members or the apportioning of direct taxes.  They are not the national government’s Goddamn business, unless I voluntarily make them so.

I have re-read the debates in the Constitutional Convention on this part of the document, The Federalist #’s 54-58, and, my old standby, Joseph Story’s Commentaries On The Constitution and have found nothing to contradict my interpretation.

For your edification, here are the ways that some of my Friends In The Ether and other people who I respect are handling the situation…

Chris Wysocki, over at WyBlog [it’s Smitty endorsed!]

-Walter Williams [via The Classic Liberal]

Former Judge Andrew Napolitano

Normally, I would have given you more links, but I really wanted to research this on my own and read the source documents myself [I’m a dork like that, in that I actually enjoy doing that].

I am, of course, facing a multiple hundred-dollar fine for this action [I’ve tried over a half-dozen different search terms at the federale’s site here to see what the fine is for noncompliance and had no luck; if you do, please let me know].  I am not recommending any course of action to anyone else. 

When they come a knocking at my door, like they did ten years ago, I will be saying the same damn thing again: ‘I have answered all of the questions I’m required to by The Constitution Of The United States and will answer no others.  Now, get off my property.’  I was not fined then, I suspect with Comrade Obamnin in office that will not be the case this time [ah, well, less money for Stacy McCain’s Tip Jar].

5 Comments
  1. 12 April 2010 @ 16:51 16:51

    I believe the fine is $500. It’ll be worth 1000x that in hits if they do make a federal case out of your protest!

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      12 April 2010 @ 19:52 19:52

      I don’t think I’ll be the only one.

      Thanks for the fine info.

  2. 12 April 2010 @ 20:07 20:07

    Heh… not being a geneticist nor anthropologist, I had no honest way to answer the “race” question except to default to what I know: “Human.” How the Hell does one define “race”, anyway?

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      12 April 2010 @ 21:37 21:37

      Good question that nobpdy has ever been able to answer.

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  1. Hey, maybe that Belvedere guy should write an advice column. « The Daley Gator

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