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Fisktime In Good Company

09 March 2010 @ 21:00

The other day, in a Dispatch entitled Honky Tonk Fisking, I proclaimed Stacy McCain and Smitty the two best Fiskers in the whole of the VRWC.  They practice a style of the art that is quintessentially American: audacious, relentless, rough, and rifled like a .44 Magnum.  No quarter is given and none expected.  They do it in the spirit of Grant in The Wilderness combined with Jackson at The Stone Wall and Patton in the Palentine.  There’s is a technique forged in the solid steel of the American Experience of the Injun-infested backwoods and revival meeting fire and brimstone.

The Fiskings of Paco, on the other hand, are a throwback to a more mannered, lusty, bawdy, and decadent time.  His is the age of Dr. Johnson, Pitt The Younger, Sheridan, and of Tristram Shandy.  No halo encompasses his cranium: just the faint shadow of a powdered, slightly skewed wig.  Even though he often writes in the Marlowe-esque idiom, there is a certain eloquence of a long gone age that permeates his works.  There’s also an air that surrounds his words that smells of port, mutton, snuff, and gin.  If Stacy and Smitty are the epitome of the traditional American spirit, Paco is the beau ideal, the reincarnation, of the Founder’s temperament.  Recently, he reverted to the true idiolect of the age in which he was meant to be born and treated us to a rapier-like Fisking of one James Feehery, Prince of Wales to King David of Brooks.  A few highlights:

You have unhappily tripped up upon your very entrance into the arena of public discourse by saluting that blackguard, David Brooks – a self-styled “conservative” whose principles have proven to be infinitely malleable, and whose worldview is a veritable windsock of elitist cant. Would that I could say that this were a mere digression from my criticism – my constructive criticism, Mr. Feehery! – but, alas! with this commendation you have dug the channel through which your thoughts must inevitably flow to their stagnant conclusion.


Yet I will do you the justice of considering the possibility that there is a nuance to your argument that is not self-evident; it is perhaps not so much the fact of opposition to the present government that has driven you to rally to the threadbare standard of David Brooks, but the tone. You write, “If conservatives decide to adopt the same tactics of the left, if they decide to be every bit as uncivil as the craziest radical, if they choose to be every bit as rude as the rudest hippy, if they choose to use language meant to abuse and destroy their opposition, who really wins and who really loses?” I am fairly well-attuned to the publication of newsworthy items, sir, but perhaps in the course of a busy day I overlooked some few things of import. Might I inquire as to the date and location of the last bomb planted by a Tea-Partier? When was the most recent violent confrontation with the constabulary, and which institutions of higher learning have been besieged? And, prithee, what manifesto of the Tea-Party has called for the overthrow of our form of government, rather than for a restoration of our traditional understanding of the limits of government?

Well done, sir, well done.  Huzzah!

Please do take the time to click here and read the whole magnificent riposte.  [tip of the fedora to Parson Smitty]

As for me, having read the retort, I shall now go into a darkened room and shed a silent tear for myself for my lack of such talents as he possesses in great measure.

  1. 09 March 2010 @ 21:12 21:12

    Paco brought the guns, but I confess inordinate pleasure at the fun I had writing that title. 😉

  2. Teresa in Fort Worth, TX permalink
    10 March 2010 @ 16:49 16:49

    Gentle blogger,

    Fear not! For whilst thou may thinkest that thy works do not compare to the fair bloggers McCain and Paco, the toil that thou doest hast not gone unnoticed. Forsooth! Mr. TiFTW much appreciateth your endeavors to bring beauty and rounded flesh to the masses. Indeed, when Mr. TiFTW is happy, Mrs. TiFTW is most happy indeed….

    It taketh a most hard-working blogger to search out the far corners of the blogosphere to find the finest, 100% natural examples of all that is right with this small blue orb, hurtling through the darkness of space and time.

    Carry on, good sir! It taketh many different kinds of talent to make life beautiful for we poor souls who hunger for all that is true and noble –

    ‘Twere it not for my reluctance to contribute to the delinquency of a certain just-barely-no-longer-a minor, yea, verily, I wouldst share thy luscious postings with Daughter #2 (who, alas, also findeth the feminine form most fair). However, I cannot bringeth myself to do so….

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      10 March 2010 @ 17:26 17:26

      I thank thee for the kind words that have acted as a balm on my woeful soul.

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