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The Cleavage Wars: HIROSHIMA

01 March 2010 @ 20:51

STATEMENT FROM THE PRESIDENT OF FREEDONIA – RUFUS T. FIREFLY

Sixteen minutes ago an American postplane, under the command of General Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere, dropped one Janet Lupo bomb on Hiroshima, an important Army base of the Forces Of Silicone Enhancement. That bomb had more power than 20,000 megatons tons of Anne Hatahway.  It had 15,000 more times the destructive power of the Phoebe Cates atomic weapon or the Salma Hayek/Cheryl Cole Ballistic Missile. It had more than 25,000 times the blast power of the British ‘Rosemarie Hillcrest‘ and the Russian ‘Kayla‘ which are the largest bombs ever yet used in the history of cleavage warfare.

All efforts at negotiating a peace were misguided.

The Silicone Saracens began the war from the air with bust-er bombs supplied by The Daley Gator. They have been repaid many fold. And the end is not yet. With this bomb we have now added a new and revolutionary increase in destruction to supplement the growing power of our armed forces. In their present form these bombs are now in production and even more powerful forms are in development.

The enemy have tried every powerful weapon in their arsenal and none have been effective.  The latest attack from Kaiser Doug II has prompted me to order the use of the Lupo Thermonuclear Device because, as ally Marcus Irishicus Cicero said:

If I know anything at all about General Robert ‘Bob’ Belvedere, Commander-In-Chief, PTO — and I reckon I do — a Major Do-Whop S–t-Bang is on its way!

It is a thermonuclear bomb. It is a harnessing of the basic power of the female universe. The force from which the man draws his power and will to live has been loosed against those who brought war to the Blogosphere.

May God have mercy on their souls and may they now realize that all resistance is futile against such an overwhelming power as that which is held solely by The Camp Of The Saints.  Any further carnage will be on their heads.

 

MESSAGE FROM GENERAL BELVEDERE: We did what we had to do.  I would like to thank The Bishop and Marcus Irishicus Cicero for their advice and counsel.  And I would like to thank my Commander In The Field…

…General Russ Meyer

14 Comments
  1. 01 March 2010 @ 22:52 22:52

    General Pulaski has mustered his superior force!

    http://wyblog.us/blog/rule5/cleavageonic-wars-escalate

  2. 01 March 2010 @ 23:23 23:23

    Bob, after the devastating blows from the Hathaway nudes, I mean, nukes. I don’t have the heart to keeping bombing. May God have mercy on your soul.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      01 March 2010 @ 23:37 23:37

      UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER

  3. 02 March 2010 @ 00:59 00:59

    They are caving, General. I must, however, point out that Wysocki has some Big Ones!

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      02 March 2010 @ 07:41 07:41

      Out of all of them, Hotsky Trotsky Wysoki has been the most formidable foe so far. He’s pretty much stayed natural and that hurts.

      To be immodest for a moment: I must say I called it right when I nicknamed the combatants in this war….

      -Chris has been conducting his campaign like the Bolshes in WWI: relentless, sacrificing all his babushkas in massive frontal assaults.

      -TheCL has been conducting himself just like a Mohammeden: unleashing a savage attack to prove he’s a major player, then backing off to let others do his dirty work.

      -Russ is truly Italian in spirit: launching moderate attacks and, then, when the major tata guns have been employed, withdrawing from the fight to go home and drink wine and [hopefully] make love.

      -Doug is the Hun par excellance: launching major offensives, but scheming constantly against his allies and letting them do the heavy fighting while he gathers the glory for himself.

      -Smitty….ah Smitty…quietly building a massive defense shield in the form of the Major Boobage episode from South Park: you know he’s doing his best Stalin-in-the-Orient impression and waiting for us to be near victory then he’ll enter the war against Japan.

      -Stacy is the Swiss Envoy on steroids: trying to convince both sides that he can be the broker for peace, but we really know his sympathies lie with us [although, judging by some of the comments of our enemies, his deception has worked; they actually think he sides with them when we know damn well he’s a natural man]

      -You, of course, are the Noble Roman, proud inheritor and protector of a grand tradition, fighting with honor in a world without honor.

      -I am the quintessential American: a little bit crude, sometimes rude, but always ready to fight for Truth and Justice; a now fully awoken sleeping giant with industrial and agricultural might, not afraid to launch massive bombing campaigns.

  4. 02 March 2010 @ 08:41 08:41

    Holly mackerel… War n’ Piece! Er, something like that.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      02 March 2010 @ 08:55 08:55

      I agree, if you’re talking about Miss Lupo who, as you can see, is still looking good.

      By the way, who is Holly?

  5. 02 March 2010 @ 09:11 09:11

    Honor. Yes, we field our fairest legions.

    However, the Double D Bazoomba Legion is ready to roll.

    • bobbelvedere permalink*
      02 March 2010 @ 09:44 09:44

      Let’s Roll….

  6. 02 March 2010 @ 11:28 11:28

    Swelling the ranks…

Trackbacks

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