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Adventures! In! Spamland!

26 December 2013 @ 09:09

Not only do we read each and every comment you all leave here at TCOTS, but we enjoy reading the spam messages we get before I send them into the black hole of the Trash Bin [aka: Caroline Criado-Perez's Who-Who].  Most are just the same old, same old.  But, occasionally, one proves to be somewhat interesting and unintentionally humorous.  Also, they can provide a situation well-disposed to our showcasing of our marvellous wits.

All of the gang here at the TCOTS Redoubt have taken on the duty of responding to the many interesting spam messages we receive.

1) From Nannie Afford at the Ugg Boots Sale:

Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Safari.

Hope you get the issue resolved soon. Cheers

Bob: Only pussies use Safari.

Hagbard: Pussies who wear Depends.

2) From Ford Plymouth Hybrid:

Howdy very cool website!! Man .. Excellent .. Wonderful ..

Hagbard: No self-respecting Plymouth would allow it’s chassis to be mounted by a Ford.

Bob: I knew it; I just knew it — I said that ‘gay marriage’ would open the door to this kind of thing.

3) From Cloz:

Enhance your correct route trip adventure written by sleeping under a great blanket of starlets.

Bob: That’s the only time I get a real good night’s sleep.

4) From Barry Gurvitch:

It grows rapidly and spreads rapidly, especially along river banks.

Bob: You really should have that looked at before it becomes infected or something.

5) From Kim Kardashian:

Ahaa, its good dialogue concerning this paragraph at this place at this weblog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

Hagbard: Me Tarzan; you stain.

Bob: About what I expected from you, M’am, if you ever decided to write us.

6) From Little Black Dress Size 14:

I’m having some small security issues with my latest blog and I’d like to find something more secure.
Do you have any recommendations?

Hagbard: I do, I do, you long, cool woman, but you can only see them if you come on over to my pad.  I’ll chill the Riunite.

Bob: You uttered the five magic words, my dear.

7) From Crampon De Foot:

Agent X had gotten to us on a personal amount. She had the X aspect: The capacity to get people caught up.

Bob: Sounds like you have cramp-on-de-brain, sir.

8) From Black Tar Heroin:

A lot of people who turn to substance abuse and magic mushrooms are very popular.

Yet it can have different effects on different users depending on opiate withdrawal symptoms seizures the type of mushroom was used in traditional Japanese herbal medicine.

Bob: Well, you would know.

Hagbard: Raaaaacist!

9) From Internet Access:

A second or two after typing the title into a searcch engine, Bob is filing out his order information and purchasing the book for delivery.

Bob: You’re worse than the NSA!

Hagbard: And your Spell-Check ain’t working — har, har.

10) From Alma Dibben, Clear Pool Cleaning:

maybe it’s me but it seems like the page layout is a bit skewed to the right. it might be my version of firefox though. anyway sweet site. thanks Omar Yasseen

Bob: First of all, my name’s not ‘Omar’ and second: this is a conservative blog, you dumb-arse.

Hagbard: And, actually, we’re hard to starboard.

11) From Roland Hanger:

Deciding when and how to potty train potty training kid your kid, do not give in to using underpants or else your little one would get used to these. Overall, boys and girls potty training is determining your own state of readiness, says Gorodzinsky.

Bob: Interesting…you seem to know your stuff, Rollie.  Tell me, how would you go about potty training a President who craps on us every day?

12) From Gay Galls:

Free-born shemale photos

Bob: This whole ‘Organic’ thing is out of hand.

13) From Ambien:

Hi I am so grateful I found your blog… Please do keep up the great work.

Hagbard: You keep up your great work too.

Bob: It must be very tiring for you — or is that a good thing in your line of work?

14) From Italian Ugg Boots:

thank you for share!

Bob: No, thank you for Sonny.

Hagbard: [singing] And the boot goes on…

15) From Justin Beiber:

Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Very useful info specifically the last part :) I care for such info a lot.

I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

Bob: Go. Away.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 26 December 2013 @ 18:37 18:37

    This Safari user will be removing you from my bookmarks.

  2. 27 December 2013 @ 12:23 12:23

    I love it when you do these posts…thank you!

    Hope y’all are doing well in the Great White North. Pensacola is lovely this time of year, too. ^_^

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