Cry Haddock! – King Barack The Unready Goes Hungry!
Our glorious monarch, our Protector, our Most Gracious Majesty had to forgeo a sumptuous [but healthy] meal when he had lunch yesterday with Lords of the Senate.
Following President Obama’s lunch meeting with Senate Republicans on Capitol Hill, Maine Republican Senator Susan Collins described the food served and said the president was not able to eat since his “taster” was not present. "University of Maine recipe for healthy lobster salad — I pointed that out to the president in keeping with the first lady’s initiatives and Fox Family Potato Chips made in Aroostook County where I’m from and wild blueberry pie full of anti-oxidants, see this was a healthy lunch as well. We did have a little ice cream on the pie too, also made in Maine, Gifford’s Ice Cream. So in all seriousness this was well received,” Collins told reporters on Thursday after the meeting at the Capitol.
“Unfortunately, you know, the president can’t,” said Collins when asked if Obama ate at the lunch meeting.
“He looked longingly at it,” Collins continued. “He honestly did look longingly at it, but apparently he has to have essentially a taster, and I pointed out to him that we were all tasters for him, that if the food had been poisoned all of us would have keeled over so, but he did look longingly at it and he remarked that we have far better food than the Democrats do, and I said that was because I was hosting.”
Ahhh…the trials and tribulations of being King! The melancholy side of monarchy! The sadness of the sovereign! The privations of potentates! The distress of the Deified!
Weep…shed multitudinous tears for this king, this corpsman of kindness, whose turds stinketh not and are made of the finest gold! Weep, I say!…Or call ye not a man with a heart!
Sympathy must also be extended, as well, to our beloved Duchess Collins of Bowdoin who, I’m sure, expended copious amounts of taxpayer coin and worry putting together such a worthy repast.
It maketh all our petty peasant concerns seem even smaller, as insignificant as contents of the crap sandwiches we are fed.