Dear Roxeanne: Love Me, Don’t Love My Dog
Problematically for Bob, he forgot to turn off my access to The Camp of the Saints, and I just couldn’t resist posting a few Dear Roxeanne columns, so his nice blog is being cluttered up with commentary from today’s inanity from Dear Abby:
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Richard,” and I are a mature couple who have been seeing each other for three years. I love him. My dog is the issue.
“Princess” is a 2-year-old rat terrier/mini-pinscher mix.
So you got this pet a year after you had been dating the awesome Richard. Interesting.
She weighs 9 pounds and is spoiled. (I admit I’m a softy when it comes to discipline.) She barks at anyone and anything she sees. Her barks are shrill and can be annoying. But I live alone and feel she is protecting me.
Yes, nothing strikes fear into a burglar/rapist/murderer’s heart like nine pounds of canine terror. Forget the Second Amendment; keep and bear a canine with a heart of steel and a physique that is slightly more intimidating than that of your average dust mite.
Richard can no longer tolerate Princess’ barking and has curbed his visits considerably.
How, precisely, are you more safe with less male protection?
Except for this issue, he is my dream guy, and I feel lucky to have found him. I was married for more than 20 years to a controlling man, and I had to defer or compromise on everything.
He’s not asking you to compromise on everything; he’s asking you to train your annoying dog.
I will not compromise on this. I feel Richard should understand my attachment to Princess, especially when he’s not around. I miss him. Our dates are now only occasional. He thinks I prefer the dog over him, and that’s not the case.
Obviously, you do prefer the dog, or else you would have trained her or given her to another family.
Am I being selfish?
Yes, that and unreasonable, flaky, and the toy-dog version of the perpetually unmarried crazy cat lady.
Why can’t I have them both?
Because no man worth having puts up with shrill bitches, in human or any other form.
Is there a future for us, or have we reached an impasse? — WON’T GIVE UP THE PUP, LAFAYETTE, LA.
Dear Pup: No sane man is going to put up with a “mature” woman who refuses to train her dog on the grounds that she shouldn’t have to “compromise”. No man with an ounce of sense is going to want to be tethered to a woman who thinks that her tiny dog is a source of protection.
Train your dog or say good-bye to Mr. Perfect, who certainly can find a woman who will let home be a sanctuary, not a place for his eardrums to be assaulted. Be that woman or let someone else be that woman.